As many of you may have noticed, this summer was a pretty decent one for summer cable programming. We had some new shows emerge (Rubicon and Louie) and we had some old shows come back (Mad Men, Burn Notice, Jersey Shore and White Collar). I must admit that I DVR'd all of these shows and when it got too damn hot outside for even my raised-in-humidity ass I watched almost every new episode of every show.
And now I've got football to watch. I like having football to watch. But you know what I like even more than having football to watch: comparing two unalike things to each other for the purposes of entertaining myself. And thanks to a combination of a faulty computer technician, a busted well pump and a pissed off leasing manager, I didn't have too much to do at work today. So I got me a pad and a pencil and I made up my own new goofy comparison.
With today's goofy comparison, I tried to answer the following question, "Which of the aforementioned television shows reminded me of a football game from Sunday and vice versa?" Lots of people don't ask these kinds of questions. Lots of people have lives.
What do you say I quit babbling and get this done, son?
Louie
By far and away, this summer had one really and truly, I can't believe it's on television, holy-crap-I-love this new thing runaway smash and that's Louie. Louie not only shows us hilarity in most of its awesome and gruesome forms, but it also gets to the very core of comedy itself by describing the pain and suffering one must truly undergo to master the comedic opinion necessary to do something unique and quality with the same words as everybody else. Each show manages to make me think and laugh while inspiring me to risk more with my craft. And for some reason, each episode of Louie reminds me of a line from the movie, Punchline. That line: "Nothing is funny to me babe. That's why I do standup comedy."
And no game on the planet could have pleased me like Louie had pleased me all summer, but if I must (and I don't really have to but what the hell), then I gotta compare it to the drubbing that the Houston Texans laid on the Indianapolis Colts. That game came out of nowhere, surprised the hell out of me and just generally pleased me to no avail. It had Peyton Manning failing, Manning making goofy faces, Manning getting hit, and well, Manning losing. Watching Manning lose is almost as fun as watching Louis CK lose. Almost.
Mad Men
My favorite show of the summer has been Mad Men. It's one of the best shows on television. It's so good that I don't feel like going into it. This show has more writers reviewing it each week than Mark Twain had critics. But the thing about Mad Men is, when people tell me they haven't watched it or that they don't like it, I honestly feel sorry for them. About as sorry as I feel about missing that last Bucs game.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Cleveland Browns Sunday. It will probably be the only win of their pathetic season. And I didn't get to see it because it was blacked out here in Tampa. I'll probably never see them win this year and yet they've already won a game. That makes me feel sorry for myself. About as sorry as I feel for those who do not like or have not seen Mad Men.
Burn Notice
This show started out okay. I mean, the main character is essentially a one man A-Team and I can get behind just about anything that reminds me of the A-Team. This year they added a cast member (Jesse) but it didn't improve the show even a little bit. They did some stuff with Michael's mom which was cool but everything else seemed kind of… slowed down. Anyway, this show reminded me of the Jaguars/Broncos game.
The Broncos made a lot of offensive moves in the off-season that didn't help them win at all. And beating the Jags is about as easy as keeping my interest with summer programming. So this just goes to show, change ain't always good.
Jersey Shore
I am not ashamed to admit that I like this show. But one thing bothers me: The Situation and JWoww are of my generation and everyone else on the show is younger than that and yet there's not a laptop or an iPhone or iPad amongst any of these guidos. I get that they're not the smartest but technology is huge with most kids these days. I just don't understand why it's not huge with the kids from Jersey Shore. I mean, surely Pauly D didn't come up with that haircut without the help of some kind of modern technology.
Anyway, this show reminded me of the Eagles/Packers game. I knew what the ending would be before I even turned it on, and yet it delighted me pretty much the whole way. Even Dog Killer Vick seemed likeable during that game, much in the same way that I occasionally find Snooki likeable. It just defies common sense.
White Collar
This show is relatively entertaining, at times funny and usually very slick with the dialogue. It moves well and doesn't try too hard. Still, it would be a lot better if I found even one of the characters remotely believable. A fraud master who arrests his buddies to stay out of jail? Not happening. That's a death sentence. His fraud-master friend helping him? Even less believable. An FBI agent who admits he can't do his job without a criminal's help? No way. Still, I watch. And sometimes I even enjoy it. Much like Rams fans.
That Rams/Cardinals game was definitely football. And yet I couldn't believe that any team could play so sloppily, that any coach could screw up so egregiously with the timeouts or that the Rams haven't moved back to LA yet. The whole thing boggles the mind. And yet I watch.
Rubicon
Much like the ending to that Lions/Bears game, I have watched Rubicon. And much like watching Rubicon, I wasted hours trying to figure out what happened after it was over, got the correct answer, and now feel more confused. Lions fans got hosed.
Comparing unalike things for no reason is part of what I do sometimes. And I have to live with that. And fortunately for you, I have a place to share such ramblings. And that place is here. That time is whenever you're reading this and, to paraphrase from Angelina, if that means writing goofy shit comparing summer shows to football games then that's what I'm gonna do.
DTF or GTFO kids. DTF or GTFO.