There is no truth to the rumor that I have no life. But lately, I’ve been sick. And it hurts to leave the house. Now, I don’t want to get all whiny and bitchy about how my life sucks right now because I’ve gone and caught a flu sniffle, but I am offering my current illness as an excuse for why this post isn’t gonna make a hell of a lot of sense.
There is no truth to the rumor that I have no life. But lately, I’ve been sick. And it hurts to leave the house. Now, I don’t want to get all whiny and bitchy about how my life sucks right now because I’ve gone and caught a flu sniffle, but I am offering my current illness as an excuse for why this post isn’t gonna make a hell of a lot of sense.
I keep thinking about the homestead (don’t laugh, that’s what it is). Twenty degrees, twentyseven cousins, six aunts and uncles, all on my mother’s side. I keep thinking about cold weather, wind that cuts like a knife, and people saying, “sure is nice out.” I keep thinking about my grandma, and how, though you could definitely argue that her passing was somewhat of a blessing, I’ll never see her again. I think of all this while I sweat through the sheets.
I keep thinking about the plot to Grisham’s latest spy novel and how, in the Afterthought, he apologized for not being a professional spy writer. What the hell is that about? I mean, that’s not humility because he already wrote and published the book. So what the hell is he trying to say? This is the stuff I think about when I’m sick.
When I’m sick, I eat a lot of strawberries.
I keep thinking about how I’m adapting to the pounding in my head, and how maybe that pounding and me could possibly coexist forever. Maybe it’s like living in a house near an airport. Maybe I’ll get used to it.
I like it when I hear cars driving outside my window when I sleep. I have no idea why this is or why I feel you need to know this. Have I mentioned that I’m not feeling very well today?
When I’m sick, every room feels like a doctors office.
I keep thinking about Barry Bonds and the steroids, and how everyone is all freaked out about something that a) they already knew and b) wasn’t illegal when Bonds did it. Am I the only person who just doesn’t give a damn?
I keep thinking about March Madness, baseball’s opening day, and chicks in bikinis.
I keep thinking about the World Baseball Classic (which is classic despite the fact that it’s in its first year) and how I really don’t like watching it all that much.
When I’m sick my writing gets kind of jumbled.
I keep thinking about ways to apologize for this post, but you know what?
When I’m sick, I just don’t give a damn.