As y'all may or may not know (doesn't matter), I love sluts. Especially really hot sluts. I'm all for women who want nothing more than sex all the time. In fact, for better or for worse, these are typically the kinds of chicks who find themselves attracted to me. Well, one day, after banging a particularly typical slut, I got to thinking, “Why do these chicks cheat on their men so much?” I couldn't come up with the answer.
And then it occurred to me, I have mad interview skills.
So I got me a pen and one of those little pads of paper that fit in most pockets and I jotted down a few questions. Then, I met my slut friend at a bar and asked these questions of her. After paying for our drinks, I then headed home and sat down at my computer and typed out both the questions and answers, all for you, my loyal and determined readers.
Here now, is that interview in full.
The Nate Way: So, how many men do you think you've fucked?
Regular Slut: Do you really want to know?
TNW: You won't hurt my feelings, and it's important for the interview.
RS: Like I give a fuck about your feelings. More than fifty.
TNW: And how many boyfriends have you cheated on?
RS: Around ten.
TNW: And why did you cheat on these men?
RS: Either something was wrong with the relationships or I just got too wasted and the guy hitting on me was too cute to pass up.
TNW: And you're 24, right?
RS: Right?
TNW: College educated?
RS: You know I'm not.
TNW: It's for the interview.
RS: Whatever.
TNW: Why do you like random sex with multiple partners so much?
RS: Same reason you do.
TNW: Okay, why do I?
RS: Because it feels so good and there're like no attachments or anything. It's like going to a restaurant. I mean, if you can get out of the restaurant without paying and while trying most of the items on the menu, wouldn't you?
TNW: This isn't about me.
RS: It might as well be.
TNW: You know, I have a friend who always says “Marcus Welby” instead of “might as well be” just to see if people notice.
RS: That's great. I take it the interview is over.
TNW: Yeah, thanks for all your help.
RS: Thanks for the drinks.
So there you go, ladies and gentlemen. It may not have been informative, educational or even mildly humorous, but it is an interview, and that's what I was going for. I hope we all now have a better understanding of hot, female sluts. Clearly, the world is their free restaurant.
And it Marcus Welby.