Here are ten things I learned from this year's MLB All Star Game:
I don't care if it's protocol or tradition or what, having Charlie Manuel jog out onto the field borders on senior citizen abuse.
Manager Joe Girardi elected not to use Alex Rodriguez in the All Star game because Alex Rodriguez is not a "True All Star."
Manager Charlie Manuel elected not to use Chris Carpenter in the All Star Game because Chris is not a "True Carpenter."
The MVP of the All Star Game was the only man in the game who drove in runs that were deemed "Earned." The difference between earned runs and unearned runs? You guessed it: taxes.
Chris Berman is the only man alive not yet tired of Chris Berman's shtick.
Tim McCarver is at his absolute funniest when he has no intention of making a joke and at his absolute suckiest when he tries to be funny.
I'm pretty sure Joe Buck hasn't hit the gym in a while. However, his weight lost could be the result of HIV. It's tough to type with your fingers crossed, but I have the ability.
If you want to raise kids who get a chance to watch the All Star Game in its entirety, you owe it to yourself to move to the West Coast. It may seem like an inconvenience, but good parenting is almost always an inconvenience.
Late in the game, Matt Holliday, Scott Rolen and Marlon Byrd were all on base at the same time. During that time, I actually thought, "Bird-Rolling Holliday would be a great name for a movie about people who kill pheasants on vacation."
The AL record when I liveblog the All Star Game is 4-0. The AL Record when I do not liveblog the All Star Game is 0-1. Coincidence? Well yeah, but still… Any excuse not to work, right?