Caption Hook'ed – a Phot-orgasm
Welcome to a revolution in writing. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I thought I'd maximize efficiency by telling the story with images. Take that Creative Writing teacher.
It all started with Fast Times at Ridgemont High on Netflix. (That first picture is really probably only worth 57 words). As is the case with Netflix DVD's, they occassionally have scratches that halt the movie, severing the bond between media and viewer, breaking the frame and pulling me out of the story world, disrupting my involvment and putting a kink in my thesis of cinema as a mutual parallel existence, the physical world and the projected sense of they story world in mid transmission. I now have to add a ‘graph on NOISE as per the Mass Comm, Send/Receive model.
Also Slow-mo Titties. Discuss.
Nevermind the fact that a scratched DVD always skips at the most pivotal moment of the plot. Right as it approaches the climax, a rubber band is snapped around your popcorn-buttered testes. Thanks a lot Netflix, now I don't know if Marty will make it back to the future. OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA Did anyone else catch that? I never even noticed that before. Wo… the only blue fire is that glowing from my satchel.
Is this what other Netflix users do to their DVD's? Does DVD stand for Do Vatever you Desire to ze disc? Do they feel the need to use a slower shutter speed to express their anger? Answer: Yes to all three.
But the Universe operates in balance, for just as I was about to get pissed at Spicoli for taking too long to say his next line, I discovered this little nugget of delight.
The famed Any Key… sitting right there on my remote like a humorist's reward for attention to detail. Could the Folks at Samsung really be that hip to circa-1998 jokes? I opened the manual, and read the blurb about this button's function: “immediately adds punchline to your blog” it said. Wow, the Japanese aren't smart, they're Omniscient. If you're curious about the odd black circle, keep reading… er- gazing.
For 15 minutes I tried vainly to get my camera to zoom in on the holy grail of keyboard humor. It was agony, the thought of having to carry the remote around in my pocket and relay it's hilarity on a personal level. Finally I called upon my trusty camera Loupe, a magnifying tool used to look at photo slides, and hunched over like an editor with a 3 am deadline, got that sucker on digital memory. But it doesn't END THERE!!!
Okay, It does end there. Except for this magnificent shot of my remote with a rental of the best snow dog movie since Cuba Gooding's snow dog movie. My Dad has poor taste… but that's a later blog.