Well this has been fun, hasn't it? I feel y'all know way too much about my early writing at this point. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I felt stupid for posting it.
EPILOGUE
Mary Strothmire gave birth to a boy named Alan Durbin, who has a fantastic combination of red hair and freckles.
Thirteen counselors, three employees and four principals received a combined 17 million dollars in lawsuits from the St. Louis County School District in 2002.
Ethan Lee pitches in California. He is a competent student, a senior, and is very popular with the ladies. Many University of California alumni spend drunken nights fighting over whether or not Ethan Lee is the best pitcher in the history of Berkeley baseball. The smart money, according to an alumni who actually remembers seeing Bob Gibson pitch a no hitter, is that Ethan Lee is the best pitcher in UC-Berkeley's history.
Jim Phelps died in a bar fight outside of his college in Miami. He was mugged for three hundred and twenty dollars. The killer was never caught.
Deborah Van Klein is the most sought after and ineligible bachelorette in the history of Boston College. She studied in an accelerated program and recieved her degree before she reached the legal drinking age. She is currently planning to move to California and marry the only man she ever loved. Women on campus spend occasional drunken nights arguing over precisely how much money Deborah's engagement ring cost. The smart money, according to a Boston College student whose father owns a jewelry store, is $15,000.
Kip opted for a shotgun instead of a hospital bed and died in his newly purchased condominium. He left no note.
Atwood Nash was expelled from his college program after testing positive for marijuana three times. He is currently enrolled at the University of Missouri.
Momma Easlon made a small fortune after selling her technology stocks and buying heavily in Disney Entertainment. When the stock market finally dipped below its previous state of glee, Mama Easlon was worth approximately 27 million dollars. She still does not own a car.
Mr. Rhabomeyer retired from teaching shortly after the LSD coffee incident. He is currently working on writing a novel designed to help children deal with their problems in a calm and rational matter. He also recently set the record for most push-ups in succession by a senior citizen.
The Highway T Bonfire Massacre remains solved. The late Steven Carter was found guilty by a jury of his peers.
The LSD coffee incident remains unsolved and is a popular topic among the citizens of St. Louis County.
Lulu froze to death in February of 2001. Her body was scraped off the road by Chester Public Work officials and eventually incinerated.
In a few years, most of the road construction in St. Louis County will be finished and traffic will ease up a bit on for the approximate one million suburb to city commuters, for a few months at least.
In the past three years, approximately one hundred students in four different countries have been killed by gunshots while in school. The popular belief is that this violence is cause by the abundance of violence in videogames and television. However, this is yet to be proven by any credible institution.