Any argument with a female that does not end in destruction of personal property is an argument that the man wins. That's the curve on which relationship arguments are graded.
Women with fake breasts deserve a little bit of extra consideration, if only because they sacrificed their health and comfort to improve your scenery.
Every woman is somebody's daughter and therefore, none of them, even the ones who are paid for sex, deserve to be called whores.
All of them, even the ones who don't take money for sex, are whores.
You should not be surprised to learn that a particular woman is good at math or knows a lot about sports or even truly appreciates the finer points of good dick jokes but you should, however, be skeptical.
You do not have to like books or movies about sexy vampires. You do not have to go to movies about sexy vampires. You should, however, dress up like a vampire and bite her on the neck provided that's what gets her off.
If she sees you crying, she has the right to lose respect for you. Unless your mother or dog just died. Because I mean, come the fuck on. We're not all robots.
Going to strip clubs is not cheating; that does not make admitting to it a smart idea.
Masturbation is perfectly natural and acceptable in front of your woman. But only if she's not horny. If she's horny, masturbating in front of your woman is just rude.
If she doesn't cook or clean for you, you don't have to pick up the dinner tabs. We all work for something.
If she wants you to wear it, you might as well wear it. After all, you're already with the person you're trying to impress.
You do not want to tag along for girls night out. Trust me.
No matter what, she would leave you for someone rich and famous. In like two seconds, dude. Don't even give it a thought. Just accept it.
Make her laugh, make her smile, make her come and make her breakfast and she'll probably never leave you for someone who is not both rich and famous.
Put the toilet seat down, throw away the trash and shave on a regular basis. Unless you want to hear about it on a regular basis. Either way, trash, toilet seats and facial hair will occupy regular intervals of time.
Don't drink too much. She will be really mad if you don't remember making love with her. Unless she comes, then it's kind of cute.