Oh, and if you do order version 1.0 and you find some problems with the printing or whatnot, please let me know. Ironing out all the wrinkles in 1.0 will make 2.0 that much better. Thanks for your help. Hugs and kisses and all that. (Side note: If you're smart, you'll notice that the word “Impure” is misspelled on the cover. This is to keep the two versions from having the same title and thus eliminating confusion in the future. Also, it was a way to justify a screwup.)
And now, in honor of this first step towards the completion of this book, I give you a review from my friend, Mike Lumford, who read this book three times before I submitted it.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaIt's About Time
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBy Mike Lumford
It's about time this procrastinating bastard, Nathan DeGraaf, got this book out here for all of his fans to purchase. Even if it's not as pretty as it will be when all is said and done, at least we finally get a chance to read it. And by “we” I mean “you” because I've already read it. Thrice.
According to DeGraaf, in addition to me, only four people have been given the opportunity to read this book: a landscaper/philosopher named Chip whom I have never met, an alcoholic editor named Court whom I have also never met, a hyper-intelligent female bartender whom I also have not met and the kid who is working on the cover and wrote this wackiness a few days ago. I haven't met him either.
Our group of five is a select one. We are all, each and every one of us, friends with Nathan. And of all five of us, I was the one asked to write the first review. When I asked DeGraaf why I got this lucky assignment, he belched loudly and asked, “What else you got going on?”
He really is an asshole.
But the book is great.
To properly review this book, we must look at its two main parts, which interweave or alternate (depending on how you view it?you could also call it an oscillating style but that may be a stretch). One half of this book is a collection of the infamous snippets, which are just damn funny. Unlike the current snippets found on this site, the snippets from this book tell the stories of growing up, going to school, getting a job and settling into American life and not, as it is with the current snippets, just the funniest shit DeGraaf heard over the previous week or so. Not to say that the book's snippets aren't hilarious (they're funnier than ninety percent of the ones on this site), but they also tell some great stories that relate the messed up state of humanity in our postmodern society (pretty deep stuff for a guy who saves his tears for the failure of a baseball team and likes dating strippers).
The other half of this book is the story of a young man named Nick who grows up in suburban St. Louis selling LSD to his bored contemporaries and counterparts. His journey takes us all across America and introduces us to a few characters and situations that could easily be described as totally fucked up. In the span of a few days, our main character (Nick McGrath?DeGraaf took about two seconds to come up with that name) commits about five felonies, assists others in the commission of a few more felonies, stares down the working end of a handgun, gets kicked out of a Methodist church camp, follows The Grateful Dead across America and helps an abused woman overcome her fears and leave her asshole husband, all while never, not even once, realizing the gravity of any of the situations in which he finds himself.
In a sense, Nick McGrath represents the simple idea that he who is most willing to adapt is most likely to succeed. In another sense, Nick McGrath represents the rampant apathy once found predominately in America's youth, an apathy that now dominates the pervading American attitude.
But the great thing about The Snippets and the Impure Tour (or The SNIT, as I call it) is that you don't have to think about any of the meanings or messages within the book (in fact, your first time through you'll probably be too busy laughing to even notice the subtle lessons DeGraaf slickly espouses) to truly enjoy it. You can just kick back and laugh and know that you, much like Nick McGrath, do not have to care about anything if you don't feel like it.
In fact, if you were to take away one lesson from this book, it would most likely be (and therefore should be) the simple truth that those who take life seriously are doomed to hate it and that those who laugh at life's oddities are destined to enjoy them.
But the good thing is, you don't have to take my word for it.