Have you ever longed for something you never knew you needed? Have you ever gone barefoot and wished you didn't have to live so primitively? Have you ever visited PIC and thought, “I could walk around in this website all day long, and still feel comfortable”?
Loyal reader, your worries are over. The PIC Shoes have arrived.
But first, let me expound upon the recent demand for PIC Shoes. Here is a little snippet from our friend and mentor Nathan DeGraaf:
So I said to Court,
“You promised me Court,
that if I drank with you,
you would look out for me always.
But I have noticed that during the drunkest periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints outside the bar.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
And Court replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints outside the bar,
is when I carried you home you drunk son of a bitch.”
You see, PIC Shoes are no ordinary shoes. PIC Shoes are made to withstand the hardest of times.
When you fail a final and sulk back to your dorm room to weep softly, who will be there for you? Your mommy? No, the PIC Shoes. You will look down on them and find inspiration in all the little things you love about college that outweigh one grade.
When you get super drunk and hookup with a seriously ugly guy/girl and then wake up in that person's bed the next morning without any clothes on and have to walk home, who will be there for you? His or her ugly face? You sure hope not. No, you will look down and find your pride, hiding deep inside a pair of PIC Shoes, waiting for you to put them on and regain your dignity.
When you're sotally tober and take your 6th shot of vodka in a row to try to get things going at a frat party, but end up puking all over the kitchen floor, who will be there to help you clean it up? The janitor? No, the bottom of your PIC Shoes will help you push that mess up under the sink, where you can hide it just long enough to escape the wrath of the brothers.
When you get confirmation from a good friend at a bar that your significant other cheated on you, who will be there to help you beat the living shit out of that bitch? The bouncer? No, you will calmly take off one of your PIC Shoes and begin hammering away angrily…and then you will laugh at the irony of beating someone up with the Trendy IM Laugh. Who ever knew instant messaging could get so personal?
Shall I go on?
Okay.
When you're having a bad day, and not even alcohol will help, who will be there for you when you still have to go to class? Your roommate? No, that lying SOB stole your favorite shirt. But that's okay, because your PIC Shoes will lift your spirits and carry you to safety, possibly even with a smile. (Luckily, your roommate wears a different size shoe than you.)
When you have no clever way to approach a hottie at a party, what will you do? Throw out a cheesy one-liner? Go get another beer and wish you could grow some balls/ovaries? No, you will strut up to this work of art and say, “Do you know what PIC stands for?” Assuming she doesn't (which she will eventually), you will show her the back of one of your PIC Shoes and say, “Pretty Interesting Conversation. I always like to have at least one handy.”
You see, PIC Shoes are your perspective, your dignity, your weapon, your wingman, your conversation piece, your inspiration. But most of all, they're your friend.
And now, it is time, dear reader. You must find your bliss. You must invest in your well-being. You must blaze a trail of humor. You must wear your heart on your feet.
I would tell you to get 'em while they're hot, but honestly, a good friend never goes out of style.
