-When I'm bored with someone on AIM, I wish I could just say, “Excuse me, can you hold one moment, I have another IM coming in…” And then wait a second and say, “Hey dude, sorry, I really have to take this IM. Can I type you back later?”
-Have you ever faked being asleep just to hear what people are saying about you when you're “not listening”? I can't tell you how many times I've put on my best “retarded snore face” and held a weird body contortion pose just to lull people into a false sense of backstabbing security. I don't get why anyone would even take the chance, but they do. I think sleeping in front of someone naturally causes them to lose some of their inhibitions.
-I received a spam link exchange email the other day that read: “I liked your site so much, I went ahead and added you here: http://www.dnatesting-4u.com under http://www.dnatesting-4u.com/chamley.” Jesus, talk about VIRAL marketing. Chad, is there something the rest of the internet knows that we don't?
–There are two types of people in the microwave world: those who put blind faith in the “popcorn” button, and those who press “5 minutes” and stand around listening for the “2-3 seconds between pops when your popcorn is ready.” I always imagine the second type as being the one that, if they hated you, instead of pumping a round of bullets into your head, would probably strangle you and wait for those last couple of futile gasps before ending you early. CAUTION: THIS PARAGRAPH IS HOT.
-When you're talking on your cell phone trying to meet up with someone in public, and then you see that person, do you say “bye”? Or do you just hang up on them (RUDE!)? One time, I literally turned the corner in the hallway of a building and almost bumped into the person I was looking for. We both instinctively held off on the handshake while we stood there and said into our phones, “Oh hey, there you are.”
-The other day I met a girl who shaves her arms. I acted like that was pretty weird, and she got all defensive about it. Eventually I backed off because the 2nd Amendment gives her every right to do that.