There is something called the “seduction community”.
I don't even have a joke about that, so I'm just going to repeat myself.
There is something called the “seduction community” and it's a multi-million dollar a year mystery. Please take the time to look it up. I'll still be here when you get back, and my satire kind of depends on in. Off you go:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method
Crazy though this seemed, I thought there might be a way I could make a little money off of this. Lady and gentlemen, I present to you, the first screed in my soon-to-be manifesto on the Sandwich Community.
Step 1 Approach: Begin by approaching the kitchen, or wherever it is you have the sandwich making tools. Try using an opening line, such as “boy am I hungry,” or “I could REALLY use a sandwich.” Once you get more familiar with this “hunger” and “sandwich desire”, the lines you use can be tailored to fit your personality. The key in this stage is to not fall down on any sharp objects (SO), which will hurt your Sandwich Production Rate (SPR) and my halt it altogether. It is recommended that you make anywhere between 10 and 100 approaches per month, until it becomes Natural.
Step 2 Comfort: Once you've entered the kitchen, it's come time to engage your materials. Choosing the appropriate materials is of the utmost importance. It is a natural instinct to want to ingest foods that agreeably stimulate the proper taste receptors. When you examine how using these foods affects your tastebuds, you can begin to develop likes and dislikes. At this point, you can arrange (arr) your ingredients onto the bread in such a way as will both be aesthetically pleasing and also taste-efficient. Careful, because this might involve the use of SO. A proper arr can entirely change the dynamic of a sandwich.
Step 3 Enjoy: Your enjoying place should ideally NOT be the same as your comfort place. It is important that you show yourself that the sandwich will be properly satisfying even after it's eaten. I suggest a waiting period of 7 minutes before taking the first bite (FB). In this time, you're proving to yourself that you've made a correct sandwich decision, and won't regret it. Mouth opening procedural institution is the most effective way of sealing the deal. At this point, moving your jaws such that the food is broken up, otherwise known as “chewing” is the key to success.