It has recently come to my attention that every single PIC reader (yes, every single one) hates when I write about my Kickball league. I know this because Tyler Hurst told me. I would like to take this moment to thank him for bringing this to my attention. It is clear that you people prefer to hear about sex instead. However, since I don't have sex, unless it's with myself, I've decided to replace the word “kickball” with “sex” in order to achieve the desired effect. That, and writing a blog entry about having sex with myself is a little awkward, and well, too personal.
So far my sex team is 0-3, which is sort of like my track record with asking out girls. The sex league that I participate in is pretty competitive and there are a lot of good teams. My team is mostly comprised of guys, so when participating in sex, there are plenty of dudes to go around. To be fair though, every team has way more guys for sex than girls. I'm actually glad my team has more guys for sex, because guys are better at sex anyway. At least as far as I can tell. Girls shouldn't feel left out, either. The rules do state that you must sandwich a girl between two guys in the sex order.
I changed the order that we'd sex last week in attempt to score more, which didn't happen. I did make it to third base, though. This is the first time I've made it to third base but I am yet to cross home plate in sex.
We did score early though, but were tied 1-1 in the last inning. That's when the other team sexed the ball to right field and drove in a number of runs. All of a sudden, we looked like the Bad News Bears of sex. We couldn't stop fumbling balls. We ended up losing 6-1. It was a defensive battle for most the of the game and we ended up finishing early, which I'm used to anyway.
Stay tuned for more Sex league. I'll be playing again tonight, weather permitting of course.