Romance:
I think it's ok to have sex with a third cousin, if the first two have gained a lot of weight.
Politics:
I don't want to be the Vice President, just the President of Vices.
Family:
I guess a 5th birthday party is too late for a coathanger abortion, but I'll be damned if that clown didn't give it the ol' college try.
Employment:
I'm not a clown, I just dress up like one for birthday parties and weddings.
Religion:
I think Christianity was invented by people who enjoyed robbing and pillaging, but were too lazy to work more than once a week.
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