Luke: What's the gayest movie you ever liked?
Me: Good Will Hunting.
Luke: Fag.
Royce: So what's a beautiful, young girl like you doing with the likes of Nate?
Rochelle: Pity.
Carl: Ahh, now I get it.
Me: I love you guys, you know that? Y'all are the best.
Luke: What's the gayest movie you ever liked?
Mike: What the hell kind of question is that?
Luke: I asked you first.
Me: How come there aren't any cash only lines?
Mike: What do you mean?
Me: I think that every store should have at least one line for people who only have cash. You know, to speed things up for the folks who bothered to hit a cash machine. I want to know why I never see that.
Mike: What do I look like? Your fucking congressman? Why you asking me?
Me: I value your opinion.
Mike: Yeah, well my opinion is that you need to shut the fuck up.
Me: Ahh, what do you know?
Luke: What's the gayest movie you ever liked?
Steve: Either Top Gun or Sailor Boy Erotica. It's a toss up.
Me: Sorry I have to change my tire in front of your house like this.
Random Dude: Me, too. But it ain't no thing. I got a better socket wrench than that.
Me: Can I borrow it?
Random Dude: No, I just wanted to brag.
Me: Why do you keep asking people about gay movies?
Luke: My girl caught me watching The Little Mermaid.
Me: I could see that. That's a good movie.
Luke: You think so?
Me: Sure. I used to watch it with my little sister and all her gay friends.
Luke: Fuck you.
Me: So, you don't think cash only lines would be a good idea?
Mike: No, I think they would be. Especially at the supermarket.
Me: Then why you slamming my idea like that?
Mike: I'm not slamming the idea. I'm just tired of you bringing up stupid shit that I can't do anything about. What the hell am I supposed to do? Buy a goddamn store and utilize your stupid cash only line idea? I mean man, can I get a topic switch, here?
Me: All right Mike, which chicks are we supposed to be working on?
Mike: Corner booth. You get the smoker.
Me: Fine by me. I'm a big fan of women who aren't too discriminate regarding what they put in their mouths.
Mike: On second thought, I get the smoker.
Luke: What's your favorite part about Good Will Hunting?
Me: When Will and the shrink are jumping around reenacting game 6 of the '75 World Series.
Luke: Why?
Me: I always liked the idea of baseball bringing people together.
Luke: You mean like it brought congress together?
Me: Asshole.
Me: So, you still making a living ripping off the innocent and stupid?
Rob: No, I've switched to ripping off the company.
Me: I don't want to know any more, do I?
Rob: No, you all ready know too much.
Me: What's your favorite part of Little Mermaid?
Luke: When they sing “Under the Sea.”
Me: You're positive you're not gay, right?
Luke: You write about this and I'll never come visit?
Me: Enjoy Orlando, Luke.
Labels: snippets