Hey, Karen. Stace, you finished that paper yet? Nah, me neither. It's like what they say: procrastination is just like masturbating. Sure it feels good, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself. Also because I like to jerk off instead of doing papers. Creepy, huh? So you guys going to that party this weekend? I hear it's supposed to be a blast.
So by now, you've probably noticed I have an erection.
It's cool. Notice I let my textbook dangle cavalierly by my side rather than awkwardly shifting it into my crotch area like some sort of weirdo. We're all adults here, right? We can handle a little increased blood flow into the pudendal artery, can't we? I got a good line for situations like this, even. Hey you guys like camping? Because I got a tent in my pants.
Formed by my erection.
You guys look nervous. Worried about that test? Don't be. Here, let me give you a hug. Don't worry about my engorged penis. It'll slide snugly and warmly against your thigh, letting us both share the glorious experience of my trouser sunrise.
You're welcome by the way. An erection is kinda the best possible compliment. I mean, sure I could say that your tits look delectable and I just want to mush them together and rub my mouth and penis on them, but it's like my dad always says: erections speak louder than words.
Anyway, it's been good talking to your guys' chests, but I'm gonna head up to my room and spend a little time procrastinating on this paper.