(It’s gonna get a little political in here, but I promise it won’t get too bad, k?)
Around 1997, the end of 3rd grade was slowly lumbering towards a certain elementary school, and my dear friend (let’s call her Teresa) had invited me to the Christian cult that is Awana (a bible study that perpetuated decrees and ideologies that I did not agree with). I was very uneasy with this “Awana” that I heard very little about (and it was all… creepy). Most of my uneasiness could be easily accounted for by the supposed act of martyrdom that just confused everyone who knew the school rules (the kid whose mom actually went over the school rulebook with him like the little slip of paper said too, the kid who got in such big trouble the year before that his parents had him recite the rulebook, and me).
You see, during the discussions at Awana it was revealed to Teresa that prayer was not allowed in school because of the Unholy Separation of Church and State (which is Unholy because Our Forefathers were crazy druids who did not Art in Heaven). Unfortunately, this left her to believe that any prayer done within confines of school was against The Rules (The Rules which did in fact date from Ancient Rome). She was also left with the thought that reading the bible during school hours was also going to end with her in trouble and in a sinful state (for causing dishonor to befall the family and for causing a bad reflection on the Awana that warped her brain) However, Jesus was in fact so awesome, that Teresa was convinced that she had to bring her bible to school (because Jesus wanted her to read the bible instead of playing tag with the Sinner’s Children, least she catch the Plague).
She did not just bring her bible to school. Oh no, that wouldn’t have proved anything since many people brought illicit items such as Polly Pockets, Gak, and Crayola’s Color Changing Makers in their backpacks just to let their friends and the cool kid take a peak before school started. She brought the Wonderful Treasure that is Exploring the Word of Lord (and a bunch of his followers) out during recess and read it (to secure her rightful place as the Girl who verbally Smacks the Lord’s Love into the Sinners just Innocently Passing By). Sitting on the bleachers in front of God, Karma, Buddha, the teachers and everybody, she dared to read the Good News (and trying to make sure that not a single, delicate page was torn, least the Holy Ghost take her first born son).
Unfortunately, little Teresa would get caught with the Lord’s Great Work.
Which lead to a discussion about how the Separation of Church and State was put into effect so that the Non-Believers’ (or the Yet-to-be-Recruited) unworthy money would not end up supporting those who Firmly Believed in the one and only Superstar. It was during this very same discussion that the fact that she shouldn’t bring her bible to school is the same reason the one shouldn’t bring their Hotwheels, Barbies, or Play-Doh; it might get stolen (by Worthless Sinners who will learn of God’s Love, repent, and bring your bible back to you).
And that’s why, as a Constitutionalist, I’m against the line-item veto.
-Roxy
P.S. I know I haven’t posted that often recently, but I promise now that finals are over I’ll post at least three times a week… until something more interesting pops up… starting next week.
Very P.P.S. for those of you who think that it is hard to read, I rewrote it. If you can't read this version, either stop smoking/drinking/snorting whatever it is you are smoking/drinking/snorting or start smoking/drinking/snorting whatever it is that you use to function in day to day life.
Thank God for Public Schooling (Version 2.0 – Edited for Reading Comfort)
Around 1997, the end of 3rd grade was slowly lumbering towards a certain elementary school, and my dear friend, Teresa, was becoming heavily involved in Awana (which always came off as a cult to anyone who wasn’t a born-again Christian). I was very uneasy with this “Awana” for a few reasons. The main reason of my uneasiness could be easily accounted for by the supposed act of martyrdom that Awana inspired.
(Can you really fully be involved with the kind of drama that lets everyone be a hero?)
You see, during the discussions at Awana (a bible study for kids, for those of you still wondering) it was revealed to Teresa that prayer was not allowed in school because of the Separation of Church and State. (Please remember folks, that this was 1997. The Religious Right had not finished building their Christ Star.) Unfortunately, this left her to believe that any prayer done within confines of school was against school policy. She was also left with the thought that reading the bible during school hours was also going to end with her in trouble. However, Teresa was convinced that she should spend her time reading bible during recess instead of having fun like a kid is encouraged to do.
Unfortunately, little Teresa would get caught with the bible and her misguided understanding of the constitution around her ankles.
This lead to a discussion about how the Separation of Church and State was put into effect so that the people could practice religion freely and not give one religion the ability to put the other belief systems in place via metaphorical bitch-slap. It was during this very same discussion that the fact that she shouldn’t bring her bible to school is the same reason why the one shouldn’t bring their Hotwheels, Barbies, or Play-Doh; it might get stolen and teachers don’t want to deal with whiney parents who didn’t want to deal with whiney kids.
And that’s why, as a Constitutionalist, I’m against the line-item veto.
-Roxy
Labels: brain washing can be so much fun, school yard tales of yesteryear, the foul breeze of politics