My apartment is dark, just the way I like it. It is very vampyric and that says a lot because I so love True Blood. It's like vampires, right, doing vampire things in a real world. They pay for gas, go on walks, and do other normal stuff that everyday non-vampire people do and that is so extremely fascinating to me. Doesn't get any better than this. I peer out my window with binoculars hanging around my neck, looking for any creepers out there; this world is full of them. I don't see anyone being gross with binocs out there so I shut my blinds and resume my darkness.
I grab my iTouch off of my dresser drawer and turn it on. In the meantime, I forget what I am doing and start watching reruns of All In the Family. I get through a couple of episodes and then realize that my iTouch is out there, somewhere, in this forsaken world. Cold and alone, weeping as most people who are alone and cold do. People who take showers by themselves while the temperature is on "icicles," they weep. They weep often. People walking to work in below-freezing weather. Don't kid yourselves, they're weeping harder than the rest.
I shuffle through the songs on my iTouch and come to a halt when I find the right one for the vampyrish mood I find myself in. I put my headphones in my ears, readying myself for the all too familiar sonic blast of shame and loudness. "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch starts playing and once again I am here. Alone in this dark apartment, fantasizing about being a vampire doing everyday layman things, like shopping or taking a dog for a walk. I shut the world out and let the relief of Michelle's beautiful voice take me away. Far away from this place, maybe to a world of unicorns and where nobody laughs at me because sometimes my voice cracks even though I am 21 years old. A place where the bullies leave me alone and let me keep my lunch money and/or my tuna fish sandwich and pudding; because, hey, that's good stuff. When this world falls to its scabby knees and only one man is left because the currency has become the pudding trade; I will reign high.
Dancing alone is just as bad as dancing alone. I feel a draft.
I weep.