I just received this in an email. This is from a guy named Dave Keller. He's making fun of me and doing a hell of a job.
by Dave Keller
As you may or may not know (doesn't matter), I wrote about something a while back that relates to what I'm writing now (more or less). It has to do with something and all that.
Now, I'm not saying that something is unimportant, but I'm not saying that it's important, either. What I'm saying is that I have something to say about it.
And that, as we all know, is important.
So now, without further ado, I will espouse something (hopefully funny) about that something that is unimportant, but, which will seem important because I have something to say about it.
You see, the thing is, I have opinions which are not ordinary, which is why Court “Fearless Editor” Sullivan gave me some space on this here internet thing (which is really weird, in case you hadn't noticed). And my opinion on something can best be explained with the following story.
A year ago, I was doing something with someone when someone said something funny that I remember because my brain is yet to be destroyed by something important and alcohol. And, after it happened, I realized something about something.
Something sucks.
Nevertheless, I took the time out of my life to explain to someone how this something works, and someone said something to me which was utterly hilarious.
Here it is.
“Kitchens don't clean themselves and women like sex.”
Now, I don't claim to know anything (I think we can all agree that I am right in this regard), so I can't say for sure that the above is true, but I can state the following:
I love the St. Louis Cardinals. And steak. And liquor. And blowjobs.
So, here's the deal: I'm gonna keep on writing in this same fashion because it works and many people are duplicating it and stuff. So I see no reason to stop pontificating (or whatever) about whatever I see fit.
That's how I get down.
Now, if only I could get a blowjob while eating a steak, drinking liquor and watching the St. Louis Cardinals.
Or, to borrow a phrase from someone important:
“Whatever.”
Oh, and the snippets are on Wednesdays.
Nice job, Dave. Kudos and all that.