Maybe I should…
NO! No no no no no no no. If you call now, you’ll seem desperate or like you have too much free time. It’s not like you don’t have better things to do than talk to some silly boy.
You could better yourself.
I could read a good book.
You could dance around the apartment because no one is watching.
I could even exfoliate my face.
Do you even know what “exfoliate” means?
Of course I do. It’s the step that comes before moisturizing? After moisturizing? Fuck.
Should I even be exfoliating and moisturizing in the first place?
Probably.
Why won’t he call? Is it because I’m-
No, of course not. I mean you could stand to be in a higher hotness percentile range, but..
Thank you self confidence for believing in me.
Did I just use the phrase “hotness percentile range?”
I guess you can’t take the geek out of the girl.
Except by brute force.
This is as annoying as Hell’s bells.
Does he understand that I like being chased?
He probably thinks you’re a sexual deviant.
Why would he think that?
Gee, Roxanne, I don’t know, but it has absolutely nothing to do with how you come off. I’m sure you come off as someone with a sweet girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing…
Hahahahahaha. Oh that’s a good one, tell me another.
You don’t get it do you?
No, but I think that was already established, Captain Obvious.
Oh how original. “Captain Obvious?” My poor ego is so crushed by your quick wit and your wonderful sense of humor.
But seriously, what in the world do you mean by that?
You sound like you know what you’re doing.
You make me laugh, you joker you.
You still blush when someone calls you “pretty,” don’t you?
I feel flattered.
Awe, you’re such a silly little girl.
I’d rather be a silly, little girl with little experience than an all-sex-knowing slut with babies and AIDS.
What about that time you-?
I’d rather be a silly, little girl with little experience than an all-sex-knowing slut with babies and AIDS.
But-
Little experience beats babies and AIDS.
But-
AIDS.
That’s not even an argument.
How am I supposed to settle down with AIDS? Do you know any smart people with AIDS?
No, but I don’t think we even know one person with AIDS.
Exactly, I can’t settle down with people I haven’t even met.
But-
Shh…
“Hello, this is Lucky Dragon Buffet, how may I help you?”
Haven’t you had enough Chinese this week?
No… and stop acting so strange, Brain.
I’m only an extension of you, so technically you’re acting strange Roxanne.
…Touché.
Labels: exfoliate is a fun word, inner conflicts, stupid Brain