This video below says it all: the Jets are the underdog again, a bunch of nobodies and retreads who were brought in for that very reason.
They're quarterbacked by a skittish Vinnie Chase look alike and coached by a guy previously passed over for being “too fucking fat.” They’ve been told they only made the playoffs because their last two regular season opponents laid down. They play in a stadium named after their cross-town rival. They’re historically one of the most fuck-tarded organizations in league history….and they DON’T GIVE A FUCK. This team has balls, giant un-loved balls. And like any set of balls, the Jets balls need to release.
They’re not the Colts, routinely verbally slurped as “The team of the 00’s” despite winning one fucking title. They’re not the Vikings, with Peter King there to finger bang Brett Favre’s asshole after every terrible interception. Hell the Jets are not even the Saints, who I assume can just swim out onto Bourbon Street and find some slightly underage pussy to fuck on a washed-up sandbag. No, the Jets balls release on the FIELD. Their defense is a bukakke of blitzes. The power of that release put Carson Palmer on his back, blinded Phillip Rivers, and this week it’s going to cripple Peyton Manning. On to the fucking games!
SUNDAY
Jets vs. Colts – 3pm on CBS
I pretty much established who I think will win the game, but I think it needs to be established in a non-testicular way. The Jets are going to pound the fucking rock, they’re going to take Reggie Wayne out of the game, and they’re going to hit Peyton Manning. Right in the vag. And it will be glorious.
Vikings vs. Saints – 6:40PM on FOX
It should be hard for the impartial viewer to pick a team to cheer for in this one. 52 of the Vikings 53 players seem likeable. They have a long suffering fan base that does not seem annoying in the least bit. My favorite blogger, the great Drew Magary, is a Vikings fan. Then I remembered who the 53rd player is. It’s Brett Favre, and he can die in a fucking fire for all I care. This supposed “great guy” thinks he can hijack a team and eventually a league with his retirement decision, despite the fact that he’s a slightly more accurate version of Jay Fucking Cutler. Here’s a drinking game for you: every time an announcer criticizes Brett Favre, chug a trash bag of Everclear. You can play this game safely because “isuckcock.com” founder Joe Buck and Troy Aikman's 12 concussions will be announcing this one, and their only goal to consume more man seed of Favres than the Kardashians would have on Amistad. Go Saints and let's enjoy some fucking games!