Okay, so I can finally tell this story…
Three months ago my girlfriend, who works in a bar, thought it would be a great idea to apply some generous fellatio to me in her manager's office. I had no arguments with this because… well, I don't think I need to tell you why.
(Side note: PIC's owner Court Sullivan can confirm that I will take a blowjob from my girlfriend wherever she wants to give it, even if it's in a relatively dark and empty bar while Court is conversing with me. I'll never forget Sully's face as he looked at his hand and said, "My hand… it was touching your shoulder while you were getting a blowjob! That's sick!" Good times indeed.)
While Girlfriend was being very diligent about pleasing me, her manager walked into the office, opened the door and then quickly closed it. Later, I was asked to leave, she was asked never to do it again, and I was told by the bar's owner (a friend of mine who I had known for more than ten years) through Girlfriend (because apparently talking to me directly was not an option) that I was temporarily banned from his bar.
What was lost in all this, as I explained to my girlfriend, was that I was the real victim.
"How do you figure?" she asked in a very defiant and unbelieving tone.
"Your manager didn't knock. Civilized people knock."
"It's his office."
"Ownership does not preclude common civility. And anyway, not only did he not knock, but he also interrupted the blowjob and kept me from seeing you at work. It's like a triple loss for me. No one's even suspended you. It's all my fault like I'm some kind of asshole or something."
Her response: "Whatever."
(Another side note: I hate it when my very real grievances are dismissed as some kind of pathetic pittance simply because my desires are all primal and pleasure-based—makes me feel like my feelings don't matter, you know?)
Fast forward to today. I'm still pretty much banned from the bar AND I still haven't gotten a finished blowjob in that office. My life is relatively incomplete.
(Third and final side note: At the rate I keep getting banned from local area bars, I will either have to move away or quit drinking in the next three years, so having this bar added to my "banned" list kind of stung.)
And then Girlfriend tells me, as we sat and watched a DVD Tuesday night (because we fucking rock hardcore on Tuesday nights) that the current owners are in a financial pickle and will have to sell the bar back to its previous owners.
And I'll be back baby.
The moral of this story is a relatively obvious one but I'm still stating it: If you ban every patron who gets a blowjob in your bar from attending said bar, you will eventually have to sell the place, and then what will you do with your days?
So in the future, I think we all need to be a little more understanding of public blowjobs and the men who receive them.
Let's think of the people, children. Let's think of the people.