Hockey is coming back. Hockey is coming back. Hockey is coming back. I’m gonna say it again for the cheap seats, “Hockey is coming back!”
Okay, I am not the biggest hockey fan that ever lived. I’m roughly five foot ten inches, one hundred seventy pounds and I tend to eat healthy foods, but I still love the game.
Despite the strike, I am a fan and I will be watching next year. I will be paying for tickets and watching on television (if they broadcast any of the games). So, let’s get into the meat and gristle of what I’m trying to say here (sorry guys, I’m hungover) and address the issues facing hockey next year.
1. The southern cities will be hard for hockey to win back. As many of you know, I live in Tampa. Two years ago, the Tampa Bay Lightning won the Stanley Cup. Please note: Only three of those playoff games actually sold out before the day of the game. Three! Keep in mind, they hosted fourteen games. Also, please note: most people down here still don’t know what icing is, have no idea how precious a Stanley Cup win is and will not be going to games. They won’t even bother to blame the strike for their lack of attendance, either. It’s just not that interesting to them. I imagine Dallas, Miami, Nashville, Los Angeles and any other warm-weather town will have the same issues. I don’t know why this is, but it is.
2. Minorities don’t really care. White people may be used to watching people of different races win for their towns, but minorities are not. I made up a stat that says that .007% of the Hispanic population gives two rat turds about hockey. And they’ll be the majority of our citizenry by 2025. Doesn’t bode well for hockey.
3. ESPN doesn’t want to show the games anymore. Folks, ESPN shows dog shows, poker games and bass fishing. This is not good.
If hockey can successfully address these issues, I’ll do the chicken dance naked on live television.
With all that said, I leave you with this hockey-related joke:
Q: How many hockey players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What’s hockey?