Let's face it, the world economy is headed for a devastating collapse: American inflation, devaluation of the dollar, European reaction to failed American markets, Asian reaction to failed European markets, American reaction to all the other reactions, the continual flipping-for-profit in the commodities market (a serious indicator of bursting bubbles) and on and on. We're screwed. But you know what they say: an ounce of preparation could buy you a pound in time. At least I think that's what they say. Come to think of it, they might have been stoned.
Where was I? Oh yeah: preparation.
To be prepared to live in a recession, you must maximize your self-preservation prowess. And by that I mean, you need to self-actualize, be proactive and use a whole bunch of other words that make a person sound smart but really mean nothing. This way, while you're babbling on and on, confusing the hell out of your contemporaries, you buy yourself enough time to slip away from the bar/restaurant/brothel without picking up the check. Avoiding picking up checks is huge during a recession.
Also, to adequately prepare for a recession, one must make sure that one has a job, and if one loses one's job because of the recession, one must make sure that one knows how to kidnap executives. Executives pay themselves billions of dollars just to lose their clients' money in recessions, so surely they'll pay you a measly million just for the chance to get back on the golf course and bone the beer wenches. Drop in the bucket and all that.
Now that you've got your million dollars and are well-practiced the art of double-speak, well you're ready to run for congressional office. You see, during recessions, everyone blames the politicians, which is fair since the government controls the money supply anyway. You then must travel the city/county/district/state and preach your message, namely that you have a fool-proof plan that will save your appointed area of rule from recession. Blame the incumbent for “playing fast and loose” with their constituents' money and for “failing to adequately define the economic portholes congruent to economic collapse.” None of this means anything, but no one who votes is smart enough to admit that.
Now that you've won the election, you can just sit back and watch the market collapse while you live off your guaranteed income, your guaranteed health insurance and your guaranteed pension. Oh yeah, and the lobbyists will be dropping money on you to keep their rich clients rich. Basically, you are now adequately prepared to live in a recession.
In conclusion (because I'm concluding this), the only real way to avoid the impact of a recession on the economy is to steal from the people within that economy. (Why do you think the rich are rich? It certainly ain't because they write a bunch of checks.) And no one is in a better position to do that than a US politician, except maybe for the aforementioned executives. But if you know how to become one of them, you don't need this advice.
Oh, and while I've got you here, I sure could use a loan?