Victim of Virginity

I have this weird thing in between my legs. There is a long appendage and then two kidney-shaped objects in a wrinkled bag below. What is this growth?

That sounds serious. Make an appointment with your doctor and have it removed as soon as possible.

Honestly I have to say that you are truely wise, and give good advice. But you
were wrong on that question about
piranhas. If someone were to put a piranha in a bed, it wouldn't scratch a person, it would gnaw bite and chew on them. So declawing a piranha is
impossible.

I’m 29 years old and still a virgin. Why is this so?

There are two possible explanations:

1) You became aware of the existence of civilization only recently, when a swarm of callous tabloid reporters staked out your cave dwelling despite the
conscientious protests of a handsome, tousled sociology professor.