For the conception of this column, the author would like to thank Points in Case's own Ashley Garmany, with whom he would much like to have sex.
Okay. Everything is okay. I promise. I mean, it's much worse than you probably think, but really and truly, it's okay.
Before we get to the topic at hand, I owe you a little background on my career. I passed the Series 7 in 2003 and started my career in 2000. My first "real" job out of college involved editing food safety reports. My second involved writing feasibility studies for an engineering firm. From there I worked as a Financial Advisor, Financial Specialist, and Financial Representative. Those who know the industry will read that last sentence and recognize that I kind of went backwards. I let ethics get in the way.
Never forget that you are the hardest working generation since the generation that fought and won World War II. That is your strength.The only reason I got into the industry at all was because, in the financial industry, if you produce, your bosses will leave you alone. Also, they don't drug test. I recently put in my notice and effective April 1st, will attempt to make a living purely off my investing. Much like Fearless Editor Court Sullivan, I will not have to put on pants unless I want to. Unlike him, I will have to get up at 6am every weekday. But we all have crosses to tote and I'm sure I'll be fine.
This column is meant to speak to everyone age 10 to 90 but the target audience is between 9 and 29. If you are between those two ages, I really hope you take to heart the stuff I write next.
Mind Your Business
Everyone, I don't care how old you are, does business to some degree. Right now, the majority of the Millennial Generation feels like they have no business. But they do. And who they do business with and how they do it will be very important in the future. First and foremost, Millennials, you must make it a point to do as much of your business with privately held companies. Privately held companies are not as obligated to shareholders. When what's best for the shareholders conflicts with what is best for the customer, it is always the customer that gets screwed. If you have auto or renter's insurance, try to get it with a private company like State Farm. If you have a checking or savings account, use your local credit union or other privately held banks. There are no guarantees in life, but when your only two choices are companies that will fuck you or companies that might fuck you….
(Full disclosure: I spent the last seven and a half years working for State Farm; even fuller disclosure: I burned my house down as a 12-year-old and State Farm paid the claim; obviously I'm biased, but I trust that company.)
GOYAKOD
Money is consolidating into fewer and fewer hands. Jobs are hard to come by. You probably noticed that. As Ms. Garmany wrote, you will have to swallow some pride to find work. But there is a way to make money that I have seen some of my few successful younger clients utilize.
There's an old acronym that police detectives use: GOYAKOD. Get off Your Ass and Knock on Doors. Sometimes, cops can have all the technological resources in the world to track down a criminal and none of those resources are as useful as just banging on doors and talking to people. If you see an older person who isn't properly maintaining a home, or who isn't feeling enough love (there's a lot of this, the Boomer Generation is a sensitive bunch) or who is wanting something… anything, you can find a way to provide them that something for cheaper than people of older generations will be willing to offer it. You will however, have to go find these people.
As I earn more money, I am finding myself drinking in higher end establishments. These establishments have several bartenders with master's degrees. I tip them well. I try to always tip well. The smarter the bartender the better the conversation and service. It sucks that they don't get the job they want but guess what? I wanted to be a catcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. Life's a bitch and all that. My point is, and you know this, the service industry will hire you too.
Institutionalized
There are many career fields that will hire often no matter how big the shit storm: education, emergency personnel, security personnel, health care, and military. All of these fields (including military) have private and public offerings. You can get these jobs quickly if you have the proper credentials. You may not want these jobs but… well I think you get it.
Never forget that you are the hardest working, most cooperative, and like-minded generation since the generation that fought and won World War II. That is your strength.
Can't We All Just Get Along?
You will also need to understand a little bit about the three generations that dominate the American landscape today. My generation, Generation X, is the most bile-filled, vile, and caustic generation around right now. Our parents had sex, drugs, and rock n' roll; Generation X had Aids, crack-cocaine, and gangsta rap. From what I can tell from the college kids in my community, you guys primarily have lasting relationships, quality, and moderately used beers, and Miley Cyrus.
Your generation and my generation get along rather well. We feel for you and your position in life and if we don't cuss too much or blow smoke in your faces, you tend to use us for advice. And that's fine; that's the way it should be.
Your generation and the Boomer Generation do not get along at all. They see you as too earnest, naïve, and one-sided. You see them as selfish bastards who used up all the resources and made all the wrong moves. There's a lot of truth to both statements but every generation is important. Be patient and kind with the Boomers. Let them value-judge you and even listen to them. You don't have to take their advice but fighting them is pointless. People of all generations have good and they have bad. I trust y'all to recognize which is which.
Know Your Enemy
Right now there is a class war going on between unions and non-union people. I don't want to get too involved in the details but basically, this is a divide and conquer strategy. The Global Villians Union (our representative is Ben Bernanke, by the way) doesn't want the common person to realize the reality so they get us to fight amongst ourselves. These fights are unproductive and pointless. The real enemy sits in a mansion and looks down at our squabbles and laughs. The real enemy is not a teacher or a business owner or a firefighter or a financial advisor. As long as you keep that in mind, we'll all be okay.
Lastly, I just want to once again thank all the young GIs who fought for our country overseas (that includes you Blackwater guys by the way). You are all heroes and without you we wouldn't have a country to bitch about.
Good luck and God bless.