Horror Movie Fate or Ways My Italian-American Mother Thinks I Risk Accidental Death, Which Is Lurking Around Every Corner?

1. Impaled by an upturned meat thermometer
2. Something called “dry drowning”
3. Wood splinters through eyeball
4. Lettuce recall
5. Decapitation by helicopter
6. Pepperoni recall
7. That cut is going to get infected
8. Fuel leak recall from a car I don’t own
9. Swallowing a “button battery”
10. Coyote attack
11. Choking hazard
12. Trapped in a burning effigy
13. Going to CVS, somehow
14. Decapitation by garage door
15. Shark attack

Movie: 3, 5, 12, 14
Mom: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 13
Both: 7, 11, 15