Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
Contains blood, gore, jump scares, high-pitched screeching instead of a real soundtrack, and gross chewing noises.
Close family and friends are worried about your future prospects.
Actual Word: Package Pronounced: “Peekage”: An accidental exposure of flesh or undergarments due to missing or loose clothing fastener(s).
- “Economically anxious” strawberries - The blackberries of our discontent - The raspberries of road rage
- That cut is going to get infected - Fuel leak recall from a car I don’t own
- You’re the crab-apple of my eye - You’re the love of my mid-life - You’re my other third
Smelling like a mix of Lay's Potato Chips, Victoria's Secret perfume, and Miller Lite for four years straight.
- The Apollo 14 flag got wrinkled and needs ironing.
- Lower gum tattoos are still healing - Chimpanzee documentary made eating fire ants with a stick look easy
Good game, I didn’t mean what I said when I said, “We’re gonna kill this sorry ass team!”
You feel the urge to wash your dentist’s car after each appointment.
The suspicion that we are all just cogs in a hyper-capitalist machine — SANDALWOOD