Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
- That cut is going to get infected - Fuel leak recall from a car I don’t own
- You’re the crab-apple of my eye - You’re the love of my mid-life - You’re my other third
Smelling like a mix of Lay's Potato Chips, Victoria's Secret perfume, and Miller Lite for four years straight.
- The Apollo 14 flag got wrinkled and needs ironing.
- Lower gum tattoos are still healing - Chimpanzee documentary made eating fire ants with a stick look easy
Good game, I didn’t mean what I said when I said, “We’re gonna kill this sorry ass team!”
You feel the urge to wash your dentist’s car after each appointment.
The suspicion that we are all just cogs in a hyper-capitalist machine — SANDALWOOD
Anyone who tries to create a paradox gets stopped by theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and his incredible superpowers.
Driver’s Seat of The Car You Still Haven’t Paid Off: If your ancient Volvo is visibly shaking from your pent-up emotions, then you know you’re doing it right!
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
- Both fell off trucks at one point. - Neither speaks French.