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The Real Reasons We’re Going Back to the Moon
- The Apollo 14 flag got wrinkled and needs ironing.
Funny Lists
Reasons You Have Jaw Pain Bingo
- Lower gum tattoos are still healing - Chimpanzee documentary made eating fire ants with a stick look easy
What I Said in the Handshake Line After the Hockey Game Where I Told the Media We’d Win, Sang a Taunting Rendition of the National Anthem, Talked Way Too Much Trash, and Lost Fifteen to Zero
Good game, I didn’t mean what I said when I said, “We’re gonna kill this sorry ass team!”
Clues That You Are Controlled by a Microchip Your Dentist Implanted in a Filling
You feel the urge to wash your dentist’s car after each appointment.
10 Existential Crises and the Essential Oils to Cure Them
The suspicion that we are all just cogs in a hyper-capitalist machine — SANDALWOOD
Theoretical Physicist Michio Kaku Asked Me to Stop Sending Him These Solutions to the Grandfather Paradox
Anyone who tries to create a paradox gets stopped by theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and his incredible superpowers.
10 Best Places to Ugly Cry About Your Shitty Life
Driver’s Seat of The Car You Still Haven’t Paid Off: If your ancient Volvo is visibly shaking from your pent-up emotions, then you know you’re doing it right!
Welcome to Your Hotel’s Meager “Gym”
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
Similarities Between Turnips and Bob
- Both fell off trucks at one point. - Neither speaks French.
6 Reasons Why Ryan Reynolds Is the Antichrist from Revelation
The leopard with the feet of a bear and the mouth of a lion is an obvious reference to Ryan Reynolds' dashing good looks.
Signs That the Person You’re Talking to Might Be from New York
Congratulations on your new baby! You know what else is new? New York City, where I work and live.
Hi There, Could You Please Fill Out My Survey?
Would you say this survey is currently: - Meeting your expectations - Not meeting your expectations