Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

What Do These Cliches Really Mean?

3. Time heals all wounds. a. True b. False c. Depends on the wound. d. Depends on the day.

Attorney Up Close: The lightly sweaty smell of a middle-aged man’s neck you’re pressed against during rush hour on the train home from work.

Andrew Cuomo: Intimidate, Inoculate, Incriminate Ted Bundy: Marry, Fuck, Kill Hamlet: Be, Not Be, Wonder Lil Nas X: Yee, Haw, Satan-Worship

All Time Low: Dear Maria, Count Me Out, I Have a Baby Shower That Day Green Day: Crate and Barrel Case

Known for ruining weddings Feels very repetitive, and makes it seem like you’re dying Love it or hate it, left a permanent stamp on the cultu…

The Human Flashlight She’ll find those evil villains hiding in the dark, oh yes, she will. (Unless she’s recharging at home, of course.)

- Saying “have fun” when someone says they have to go to the bathroom - Seductively unbuckling one of the buckles on your left shoe

Before your friend has the chance to say, “How’ve you been?” grab all three of you into a hug and take selfies.

- You felt a warm and spicy thick wave crash over you. - Everyone else at the KFC Summer Family Fun Fest faded away.

A Phone Charger: “Nourish thine phone and ye shall nourish thine soul.” Neitzsche said that.

- You don’t really know what he does all day. - He has a lot of defense mechanisms from his childhood. - He woos with music.

Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, but if you did, I’m sure it was an unfortunate accident during crossbow practice.