Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
- Saying “have fun” when someone says they have to go to the bathroom - Seductively unbuckling one of the buckles on your left shoe
Before your friend has the chance to say, “How’ve you been?” grab all three of you into a hug and take selfies.
- You felt a warm and spicy thick wave crash over you. - Everyone else at the KFC Summer Family Fun Fest faded away.
A Phone Charger: “Nourish thine phone and ye shall nourish thine soul.” Neitzsche said that.
- You don’t really know what he does all day. - He has a lot of defense mechanisms from his childhood. - He woos with music.
Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, but if you did, I’m sure it was an unfortunate accident during crossbow practice.
- A woman whose boyfriend just proposed to her on the football stadium’s Jumbotron - A really bad hurdler - Moses without a staff
- Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete stuff. - Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.
“You’re making me gasp in bed for the wrong reasons.” “Lately, our pictures on Facebook have been less than flattering.”
- There’s a loud chewer in the group. - They look drowsy and could fall asleep at any moment.
Find Your Fast Track: Sometimes you reach your destination quicker because you simply run out of track.
Jedidiah “The Jug” Wilkesbury: “The jug” is known for his unceasing eye contact during his sets and his rugged bad-boy persona.