Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, but if you did, I’m sure it was an unfortunate accident during crossbow practice.
- A woman whose boyfriend just proposed to her on the football stadium’s Jumbotron - A really bad hurdler - Moses without a staff
- Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete stuff. - Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.
“You’re making me gasp in bed for the wrong reasons.” “Lately, our pictures on Facebook have been less than flattering.”
- There’s a loud chewer in the group. - They look drowsy and could fall asleep at any moment.
Find Your Fast Track: Sometimes you reach your destination quicker because you simply run out of track.
Jedidiah “The Jug” Wilkesbury: “The jug” is known for his unceasing eye contact during his sets and his rugged bad-boy persona.
Construction Soundscapes: - Indoor: Hammering, Banging, Drilling - Indoor/Outdoor: Reverberating Machine Humming (Origin Unknown)
- Your resting face just seems to send hostile messages, is all. Are you saying no one has asked about this before? - Seriously?
- Ah, yeah, I got Pfizer, too. - My weekend was good! Just went to the park, socially distanced. How was yours? - AGH, OUCH! Shit. No, I’m okay.
Bulk of budget devoted to keeping Aragorn looking as wet as possible at all times.
You became very well-acquainted with someone known as the Tiger King.