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"How smart can this so-called Smartwater be if it allowed itself to get trapped in a bottle like that?" —The Twainster
Including "High and Dry (Kazoo Remix)" – 106-minute remix featuring Sting on kazoo, and Thom Yorke explaining that a bat is a mammal, not a bird.
***correction – You peaked in high school as a regionally-ranked writer and debater, and based your entire ego on that one single skill.
IF I REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I GREW UP IN A BIG FAMILY—I HAD 7 OTHER SIBLINGS. I’D GET NOTICED ONLY IF I YELLED REAL LOUDLY.
Look: I’m white. I’m a man. My home and backyard are filled with dangerous worker bees that produce honey for me. It’s not that unusual.
"Doors are a Construct!" One BRAVE CAT'S journey to embracing a fluid Indoor/Outdoor identity!
The “Calling Your Mom a Bitch” Filibuster – If 41 senators do this at least one time, the vote is delayed for a fortnight.
Last year, I met the lovely Emma outside a Concord tavern. She said she liked my tri-corner hat and asked if anything else of mine is tri-cornered.
"remember when i misread the vibe of the kickback at ur place and blacked out on a wednesday?" - nic0tin3 sad b0is
You clapped for me in music when I put all the recorders in my mouth at once. They tasted like the way a basketball smells.
You didn’t wake up to be mediocre. That’s the job of the deadbeat still sleeping in your bed.
@beyoncedad: Really @starsearch? Girls Tyme is way better than Skeleton Crew, who were just caught doing very bad things. DM me for exclusive pics.