Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
You've heard of Lil' Wayne and Lil' Kim, but doesn't Lil’ Dipper, Lil’ Sidetracked by Social Media, and Lil’ Antsy make so much more sense?
His mother asketh him to get milk for he hath complained of thirst: but he drew in mischief a bottle of Sonoma Coast Chardonnay she loved dearly.
Pong can no longer be used to directly hack into the European Central Bank to amend the national debt of Slovenia and Slovakia.
She was slathered, head to toe, in Russian dressing, and I was ready to eat at Moscow’s most exclusive restaurant: Flavortown.
Was that something you overheard on your Zoom call this week, or from the radio in the kitchen? Hard to tell, but lit regardless.
Your own teeth, pulsed a few times in the Cuisinart. / Tiny blue gravel from the fish tank you haven’t cleaned out since your guppy, Lucy, died.
You were so busy pretending to be a British royal, you didn't even notice that your wife and kids left you and that she changed the Netflix password on her way out.
You approach a crying person and ask what’s the matter. They say, “Nothing.” Seconds later that person is interacting jovially with a colleague.
Your parents’ casual acquaintances, who they always promise to make plans with but never do. Your parents’ parents, if they’re like, still around.
A drive-in movie theater in the sky – Danny and Sandy already went to a drive-in movie on land, so it only makes sense.
Item Removal Charge: 660 million expired, room temperature vaccine doses. Attached note: “SEND BACK. Already had virus!”
Carrie’s new side hustle is: A) Monetizing her signature monologues with a TED Talk! B) Renting out rooms in her apartment on Airbnb.