Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
I Know What Hunts Youcalyptus Mint -- An incisive blend that weaves a piercing mint with a feisty eucalyptus connotation.
If your skillet is a dirty little vessel that needs to be put in its place, here's the proper way to utterly humiliate and defile it.
You realize you are alone and so is your spirit, crushing you with the existential terror that you are irreparably flawed at the cellular level.
You've heard of Lil' Wayne and Lil' Kim, but doesn't Lil’ Dipper, Lil’ Sidetracked by Social Media, and Lil’ Antsy make so much more sense?
His mother asketh him to get milk for he hath complained of thirst: but he drew in mischief a bottle of Sonoma Coast Chardonnay she loved dearly.
Pong can no longer be used to directly hack into the European Central Bank to amend the national debt of Slovenia and Slovakia.
She was slathered, head to toe, in Russian dressing, and I was ready to eat at Moscow’s most exclusive restaurant: Flavortown.
Was that something you overheard on your Zoom call this week, or from the radio in the kitchen? Hard to tell, but lit regardless.
Your own teeth, pulsed a few times in the Cuisinart. / Tiny blue gravel from the fish tank you haven’t cleaned out since your guppy, Lucy, died.
You were so busy pretending to be a British royal, you didn't even notice that your wife and kids left you and that she changed the Netflix password on her way out.
You approach a crying person and ask what’s the matter. They say, “Nothing.” Seconds later that person is interacting jovially with a colleague.