Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Your parents’ casual acquaintances, who they always promise to make plans with but never do. Your parents’ parents, if they’re like, still around.
A drive-in movie theater in the sky – Danny and Sandy already went to a drive-in movie on land, so it only makes sense.
Item Removal Charge: 660 million expired, room temperature vaccine doses. Attached note: “SEND BACK. Already had virus!”
Carrie’s new side hustle is: A) Monetizing her signature monologues with a TED Talk! B) Renting out rooms in her apartment on Airbnb.
Beaver Tail Cactus (Opuntia basilaris) – You act a lot tougher than you are, and long for someone to see through your faux exterior.
There is a half-eaten sub sandwich on the ground. It looks like it has been there for some time. / You're here because you wanted to go "green."
Pt. Jack Sprat re-check of cholesterol ratio and general lipid panel. Wife, however, doing poorly on Nutrisystem and needs to eat leaner.
“This Isn’t Disney’s Magic Kingdom: Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts When Shipwrecked on the Island of a Vengeful Sorcerer”
Good for your health either way. (This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration or Pitchfork Media.)
CuckTales – Donald and Daisy have the perfect relationship. But they have a secret: he likes to watch... Daisy with other ducks, that is.
Count down from 10 to 9. "Please don’t be mad, I know you’re going to say, ‘I know how to count down to zero and explode,' and I know you do baby.
While doing a forward bend in the local park, you smell… A) Doggy breath B) Baby poop C) Your name being added to a new Slack channel