Funny Lists

Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List

The Unwritten Rules of Baseball

The phone is for calling the bullpen, not pranking the loser ump by telling him his wife is in labor.

A well-planned curriculum / Disposable teachers who can be replaced just in case / Pencils / 100% renewable eco-powered Mercedes buses

Today's Top Posts: what's with all the fireworks? / Please use less lighter fluid / Little Library burned / Home Swim Lessons / Free Aloe!!

Animal Farm by George Orwell You've got goat, you've got mutton, you've got chicken... What you need to do is pick one flavor and stick to it.

You are unwise to lower your defenses. / Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. / You’re just a child with a mask.

$10 - I make old jeans fit again. I’m not supposed to allow this, but for $11 this may apply to booty shorts as well.

You’re in no condition to drive. But it would be even more dangerous to let your companion do it.

Best Foreign Film: When my boss tells me to speak up in meetings, sorry can’t, don't understand what’s happening.

Campus Dream — Coming Fall semester, steaming hot espresso with subtle notes of ennui, stale beer and dirty clothes.

"Weed My Flower Beds" – I dare you to tell the difference between a weed and some bullshit my wife planted. I friggin’ dare you!

6. Clothes and Shit -It’s a diaper and not that hard to figure out, for fuck’s sake. -Bedazzling bullshit. -Why the fuck are head holes so small?

Mike [ mahyk ] Pronounced: “my khh” Rhymes with: “yikes!” Common mispronunciations: Matt, Mark How to remember: Mike is short for “open mic night.”