Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

Is This a Cake?

Your partner, a pastry chef, left the mail out. There’s an unopened envelope from your credit card company. The envelope is thick. Is this a cake?

Hung, Drawn, and Quartered - Contestants sketch public executions, and the contestant with the worst drawing each week is in turn sentenced to death.

Donald Duck will wear a mask, but still no pants. / All t-shirts reading “I Survived The Tower of Terror!” have been reprinted to read “I Survived!”

I’ve stayed in touch with friends by… A) Hosting non-alcoholic Zoom happy hours. B) FaceTiming an ex at 2AM. C) Spitting peas at my chum’s window.

$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.

I became captain on my own, no help from Ushkuiniks. / Poorly rated Captain Kidd speaking badly of me. Then how come he’s always ogling my ships!!

If both opponents' Designated Epidemiologists agree that it will aid in player immunity, MLB will allow injections of anabolic steroids.

When do you take your mask off? A) Whenever I feel like it. I am making America great. B) Only once, to look on my son with my own eyes.

Revolutionary War Zimmer's Fine Coats and Upholstery: I should hope that you wish to don thineself with a coat containing pigments that do not run.

OF DEITIES OR MORTALS by Ernest Hemingway | Ivory Shattered men fall in love with damaged women while dozens of animals die in the process.

Maybe you should have married into more money because it turns out teaching IS its own job: a 2020 "In-The-Time-of-Coronavirus" jobs list.

Exercise: Speak “Let’s do this again” with conviction. Real life scenario: You’re saying goodnight to a date you expect to never see again.