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Georg Cantor: Although your partner has never said "OCD" out loud, you feel judged while ironing every pair of your toddler's striped Burberry socks.
Slow, seamless unboxings / Understated Nextdoor heroics / Horny locals making out to FiveThirtyEight podcast / Vintage SkyMalls
They swear they make some sort of product here, but all you see is a lot of eating, prancing, and day drinking.
The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?
Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.
The Bronx Bondage – Tie your partner up, and just leave them there. Nothing is hotter than the anticipation. We condone being a tease.
Unsure if fogless sunglasses are a thing. / Expects to walk past a construction site without being catcalled.
Do you know what you get for being a “hero”? Nothin'. So you might as well find a job that doesn't involve terrorizing low-income communities.
We will ensure the bear sits through an hour of sensitivity training that contradicts the lifetime of violent impulses it has acquired.
Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50
Surprise him by mowing the lawn. Devastate him by ignoring mowing best practices and race around in a pattern as erratic as his spiking heart rate.
The one where I try to explain to my conservative step-father who doesn’t see color that calling protestors "thugs" is racist.