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Farvardin: One who protects the good and the pure / Wendy: Says "I love you" way too frivolously
Mr. Bingley - Headed back to his parents mansion the moment shit went down. Makes parody videos in front of his pool. Tanned—like, SO tanned.
Argentina = Sayonargentina / Ireland = Expireland / Israel = Wasrael / Italy = Quitaly / Portugal = Deportugal / Qatar = Qatar Loose
I think I just saw Grandma's ghost! She’s headed towards the Applebee's down the street. I should follow her just to make sure she gets a booth.
Wanders outside during period of widespread danger to shout opinions of varying coherence at imperiled bystanders.
Re: Re: Re: Super Fun Quarantine Recipe Exchange Re: This will not work if everyone does not fwd this email to their closest 10 friends RIGHT NOW
"If your prognostication about a pending recession proves true, I have faith you’ll be among the few who can still afford bottle service."
“will I complete the mystery of my flesh” / “breasts will be breasts thighs will be thighs” / “thy hair is one kingdom”
She is certainly allowed to raise her eyebrows when you admit you’re not seeing anyone, despite the fact that your city is still sheltering in place.
Preys on the old men outside Walgreens / Frolics across Floridian beaches / Slept with Chris Cuomo / Hates it when you use protection
Dancing Alone, Procrastinating Together: A Sociological Interrogation of TikTok, or Why I Didn’t Finish My Major Requirements
The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.