Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
She is certainly allowed to raise her eyebrows when you admit you’re not seeing anyone, despite the fact that your city is still sheltering in place.
Preys on the old men outside Walgreens / Frolics across Floridian beaches / Slept with Chris Cuomo / Hates it when you use protection
Dancing Alone, Procrastinating Together: A Sociological Interrogation of TikTok, or Why I Didn’t Finish My Major Requirements
The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.
Grateful for her bi-weekly escape to buy cvessentials, Janice took her time folding the sixteen-inch receipt to fit neatly in her wallet.
"Netflix Throws Hot American Soldier into Cast of New British Film, Hoping You're OK With the U.S. Military Industrial Complex"
“I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.”
Assassination of Abraham Lincoln - April 15, 1865: Play is cancelled and Lincoln lives through his second term, pursuing a new urban chic look.
My baby teeth set in a silver box / A vial of the tears I cried every time he asked me for nudes after I kept saying no
Engage in an almost lyrical conversation about Laura Dern’s early work in Blue Velvet, noting its extreme qualities but necessary rise to canon.
You have such nice legs. I’m glad you’re finally wearing something that shows them off. / You didn’t even notice my new slacks. Do you like them?
Episode 4 – Karl Malone discovers the 3rd person POV literary device and begins using it in interviews. Stockton reinvigorates his Catholicism.