Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

Rolling Stones Song, or Just Another Effect of Climate Change?

Fires Ablaze / Rain Fall Down / Carbon Dioxide High / Winter / Where Are All The Bees, Baby? / Another Polar Vortex

Panko-Crusted Billionaire with a Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Souffle / Blueberry Muffins with Dark Truths about the Upper Class Chocolate Chips

Stay on Schedule - If you're a morning person, kill in the morning. If you're a night person, kill at night. Find a schedule and stick to it.

Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!

Margaret Thatcher - Notice you haven’t heard a peep from her since April 8, 2013? Women can also be agents of the patriarchy, too, you know.

Fetsfermönee - The act of drafting a tweet about selling pictures of your feet, then deleting it because your mother follows you.

Stoned college kids convincing themselves it’s really everyone else who is stoned / A yawn that never ends / Vomit splashing into a toilet

Meet supplier to get product. Supplier got goods from distributor. Distributor doesn’t know you or want to. Don't ask questions, just sell.

It’s a bridesmaid-eat-bridesmaid world. / Treat your friends like family and your family like bridesmaids. / Hate the bride, not the bridesmaid.

What would you try to make your shiv out of? The sharpened end of a toothbrush, or the sharpened bones of a rat you found in your cell and then ate.

Pull your wallet out when paying and flash your cute family photos. Have the last one be a photobooth selfie of you and your Keurig.

Treat your Valentine to a fancy restaurant just the way it likes: put off making a reservation as long as possible so all restaurants are booked!