Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
Tapestry: That sure was a big red flag, folded up all nice, when he asked you to meet him in a sketchy part of town around 9pm for your first date.
Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.
Clients call at all hours night and day. / Spend 92% of day negotiating. / Know a lot of stuff but none of it seems to help when clients are crying.
Becoming macaroni and cheese, a lifeless foodstuff, after too many consecutive meals of macaroni and cheese. / Aneurysm upon seeing a boob on HBO.
The orthodontist tends to prey on children and teenagers, but has been known to target those in their twenties, thirties, or even older.
Bruce has been a policeman for 40 years and retires in 27 days. If you know anything about law enforcement, he will certainly die on his last day.
Adam explaining to Eve that he really enjoyed talking to the snake more than her and whether she likes it or not he’s going to Cabo with him.
While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
Amethyst: The Manifestation Stone - Often used by unremarkable white men to get ahead through little to no talent of their own.
Don’t hesitate. If you see an apartment you like, grab a demon’s pitchfork, stab it in your thigh, and sign in blood immediately.
Waist up. Open-neck shirt, light blue. Body angled but just barely, so the viewer wonders, "Is his body angled or not?" One hand across waist.
Facial Recognition System – Mental procedure of sorting through possible names for an acquaintance one encounters at the grocery store.