Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
Amethyst: The Manifestation Stone - Often used by unremarkable white men to get ahead through little to no talent of their own.
Don’t hesitate. If you see an apartment you like, grab a demon’s pitchfork, stab it in your thigh, and sign in blood immediately.
Waist up. Open-neck shirt, light blue. Body angled but just barely, so the viewer wonders, "Is his body angled or not?" One hand across waist.
Facial Recognition System – Mental procedure of sorting through possible names for an acquaintance one encounters at the grocery store.
Pfizer Video: $6/month, $720/month without insurance / Costco Flix: $17/month, but only if you agree to stream all the movies together at once
Hard-nosed private investigator Sarah Cream never thought she needed a man—until she met the mysterious (and mysteriously hunky) Peach brothers.
Aries: You’re no conformist! You’ve accepted that and so should the US government. They haven’t though, so you’ll fake your own death.
Graduations: Oprah in black informing Stephen Colbert’s audience that the tests are back and they all have chlamydia.
“Stop your nonsense and drink your whiskey!” / “Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.” / "We are never ever, ever, ever getting back together.”
Coding is a great creative outlet, but only the most talented people become CEOs of publicly traded companies.
Ugh! Bernie Sanders’ Medicare For All plan is just TOO good! Where does this guy get off inspiring a grassroots movement toward economic equality?