Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
“I’m absolutely sure that I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.” / “The day I went into physics class it was death.”
First Law of Freelancer Motion: A freelancer at rest will stay at rest unless that state is changed by an impending deadline.
Reusable cloth bags to be split draft style. First pick for the one really good cloth bag goes to cuckolded party, otherwise coin flip.
Spend a luxurious evening in a gorgeous Four Seasons suite with an ex lover of your choosing. You passed right through denial and into anger.
"I Met My Wife’s Lover, and I Think He’s Swell" (1955) - …What a guy! / what a hunk / who wouldn’t want him to ball and dunk?
Taxi Driver. Oyoyoy. Ya know, my wife once said she wants to have sex in the backseat of a taxi. I says, “Great!” She says, “Perfect… you drive!”
He gets excited when I feed him, but seems lukewarm when I reach important academic milestones or make advancements in my career.
Many couples incorporate costumes into their love lives, but pointing out an outfit’s inaccuracies provides true stimulation.
Knife and fork pointed emphatically at the waiter’s throat: A not so subtle way to show that you didn’t enjoy the service.
Enjoy hiding your emerging pregnancy bump under cozy oversized sweaters and finding the best OBG/YN for your star sign.
Running Shoes (1 pair): For use during the “Escape from Evil Stepmothers, Youth-Fixated Witches, and Tyrannical Kings” PE section. Adidas preferred.
Remove gravy from its place as the creamy binder of the American Thanksgiving and you have nothing more than a gelatinous meat gloop. Pass.