Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
Penguins are from Antarctica, the Galápagos Islands, New Zealand, and South Africa but live in captivity in places like Detroit.
Danish Castle with Sea View: Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
Tells you in no uncertain terms that they are "NOT sleepy." Orders you to play the same song. Again.
“Sorry, I can’t, I’m doing drugs later with a different group of cooler kids.”
Two goldfish crackers. There used to be six, but you reached in between the cushion and ate four of them three weeks after they fell here.
It was the best of times. What it also was will shock you!
- Can easily put you in a trance. - Executes with remarkable speed.
In order to save space, your cubicle has been converted into two pyramidicles.
Despite going through a few trainwrecks in his career, he’s managed to survive them all and continue to get roles as a steamy, leading man.
Asking everybody to scooch over. Or tilt the city a little bit so that everybody rolls one way.
Life Hack: Take some plastic and wrap it around the stem of the banana. This will give the banana a noticeably longer lifespan. This isn’t because of magic!
Was the Sun clean, odor-free, safe, and professional in appearance? How satisfied were you with your wait time for the Sun to set?