Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

Things I, A Super Progressive White Man, Am Willing to Forgive Beto O’Rourke

Having sex with my wife. She was planning to vote for Kamala Harris and not Beto prior to their sexual encounter.

Attempt to order Chinese food online. Discover credit card is maxed out. Head into kitchen with acute sense of impending doom.

For questions regarding payment, please press X, where X is the gas mileage of a Sherman Tank, plus the hands visible in Da Vinci's The Last Supper.

Raising sons is hard. There are a lot of ways you can screw up your son and add another example of toxic masculinity to society.

Facilitates voyeurism into the lives of others who possess similar units. Provides a platform that helps unite and embolden the forces of evil.

Data leak alert: Your fitting room selfies were just shared with your high school reunion Facebook group.

A prophecy that predicted the deaths of all three of my children was recently fulfilled, but I look fierce as hell in this pixie cut, AMA.

Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats

"Sure, there’s a lot of hype around this, but I trust that he created something that beats that hype, and scares the ever living shit out of us."

By what other name is the Statue of Liberty known? a) Lady Libertine b) Lady Gaga c) The French Connection d) Oh Buoy, It’s a Gull

26. Obscure form of communication you use to reach out to your ex after they’ve blocked you everywhere else:

.5: The Gray Chapter - Slipknot (2014): The band members have a frank discussion about their worries regarding rapidly decreasing bee populations.