Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

20 New Year’s Resolutions to Try While You Wait for the Adderall Shortage to End

Add More Variety to Your Diet: You’ve either forgotten to eat or had eight meals today. Both count.

Including "The Capable Ice Road Trucker" and "The Priest Who Challenged Me to a Rap Battle at My Nephew’s Baptism.”

OK—technically you didn’t ask this, but no, you’re not supposed to sing along.

Go on two dates with me that seem to go well, but then inexplicably ghost me, I’m half Irish

Water (for reference): $0.89/gal Water (digital): $9,132/gal

You can’t win if you don’t play. Don’t let the big one get away!

Aquarius: Who is morally frail? Thou art. Immoral thoughts cause your complexion to redden.

- A dairy farm (allergic to cows) - Siberia (too cold, no McDonald’s)

$9.99/month: Standard package for those living standard lives. Those living substandard lives will be overwhelmed.

The country leaders play a game of thumb war in front of the entire world. The losing country loses more than just a World Cup match.

Emeton's Loose Nuts are meatier, more sensuous, more lissome, bustier, than those ordinary strait-laced nuts.

A profoundly boring pair of plaid PJs ($499.78)