1. I know you just came inside, but let’s hop in the bathroom real quick.
2. Yes…. aaaagain. Seriously, it’s an important way to stay healthy right now.
3. Can you not whine? Mommy just really needs you to do it.
4. No, you can’t go get a few toys. Last time you left them lying around and I had to clean them up.
5. If you do a good job, I promise I’ll get you a snack.
6. Great, just climb on up here.
7. Slow down dear, a couple pumps won’t do much good if you forget to get things wet first.
8. Try humming a song.
9. Maybe not a song from Frozen.
10. Okay, now make sure you’re getting all the important spots.
11. Here, can I just… let me help you.
12. I know you can do it all by yourself, but you’re all over the place, honey.
13. What are you doing? If you stick your finger up there, you’re gonna have to wash your hands again!
14. Keep going… almost finished.
15. Yaaaay, good job! See, that wasn’t so hard.
16. Can you reach the towel?
1-16: Orgasm
1-16: Toddler hand-washing