Danish Castle with Sea View
Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
Ideal romantic getaway for the whole family, including the in-laws. If you can't be kind, unwind. Gather with your family in your heart of hearts at this exciting venue. Bring smiles to their faces, and create memories to last a lifetime. (7 weeks max.)
Enjoy a midnight stroll along the ramparts (an opportune venue for seances) or in the peaceful adjacent cemetery, which offers a place to dig, relax, or die.
Rooms & Beds
- Master bedroom
- 1 Queen-sized bed (sleeps 2 + ghost)
- Voluminous tapestry curtain (stands 1)
Spaces
- Local willow-lined brook (drowns 1)
House Rules
- No exorcists.
- Please do not feed the skulls.
Amenities
- Home theater
Kitchenware is provided. (Please do not drink from the wine glasses. In the event of accidental ingestion, call Poison Control.)
Fencing foils are available. (In the event of an accidental stabbing, call Poison Control.)
Free parking
Romantic Getaway in Secluded Forest Glade near Athens
Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
Nestled in the Grecian countryside, this dream getaway is perfect for staging a family comedy. Reconnect with your romantic partner(s) in new and exciting ways in these beautiful woods. Swing from the Duke's oak or explore swinging in general.
Indulge in our locally produced wild pansy juice, and enjoy a potentially unforgettable experience*
* We are not responsible for any lost or stolen memories.
Rooms & Beds
- Al fresco bedroom (sleeps 4)
House Rules
- Pets Policy: Maximum 1 donkey permitted.
Amenities
- Running water (spring) Central heating (sunlight) Air conditioning (breeze)
WiFi (spotty)
Al fresco entertainment (flatscreen sky featuring stars, theater troupe on site)
Free parking
Enchanting Castle in Inverness
Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
This Grade A listed castle, situated on Dunsinane Hill and within easy walking distance of Birnam Wood, is the be-all and the end-all of vacation venues. Feeling a little wicked? Come to our castle. Escape from the hurly-burly of city life and enjoy a bloody good time.
Spaces
- Coven haven heath w/cauldron (seats 3)
- Dining hall w/banquet table (seats 10 + ghost)
House Rules
- No children.
- No exorcists.
Amenities
- Psychic WiFi
- No electricity
- No running water
No central heating (Suck it up, you soft southern bastards.)
Decorative bloodstains (You will be charged for the cleaning of any actual bloodstains left on the premises after your visit.)
Kitchenware is provided, but please do not attempt to pick up the dagger. It is imaginary.
Free parking