This is an open-book self-assessment. More than one answer may be correct.
Do you find these common clichés to be true or false when someone says them to you? Choose the BEST answer.
- It’s going to be okay.
- True
- False
- Not enough information
- A and B
- (S)he’s in a better place now.
- True
- False
- Don’t know
- (S)he’s gone forever, and nothing about this is “better.”
- Time heals all wounds.
- True
- False
- Depends on the wound.
- Depends on the day.
- You’ll miss these days.
- True
- False
- Don’t know
- Again, it depends on the day.
- You look young for your age!
- True
- False
- For the last time, it depends on the day.
- Who gives a shit?
Fill in the blank. Choose word(s) to complete these common clichés in the way that resonates BEST to you.
- There’s always someone who has it _______________.
- worse
- better
- about the same
- made
- You can always have another ______________.
- cookie
- child
- chance
- drink
- ________ happens_______________.
- Everything…for a reason
- Nothing…for a reason
- Tragedy…to all of us
- Nothing of importance…most of the time
- ______ give you more than you can _______.
- God won’t…handle
- Your boss will…manage
- The teacher won’t…finish
- Life will…cope with, at least sometimes
- Grief comes in _____________that _____________ over time.
- waves…diminish
- episodes…grow in number
- cookie tins …rust shut
- A and B
- When life gives you _______________, make ___________________.
- lemons…lemonade
- debt…money
- a chance…the most of it
- lemons…margaritas
- Losing a parent _________________.
- is outside the realm of my imagination
- bends gravity
- beats the alternative
- all of the above
- That’s a good _________________ to have.
- choice
- cancer
- problem
- tool
- You have to ____________ before you _____________.
- try…buy
- grieve…heal
- walk…run
- finish your dinner…get dessert
- Life is _______________________.
- beautiful
- a bitch, and then you die
- short
- uncertain
Interpretation. Choose the answer that BEST represents what you mean when you say one of these clichés.
- You look great, really.
- You look terrific.
- Given what you have to work with, you look good.
- You look better than I expected, given circumstances.
- You’ve gained a lot of weight.
- Bless your heart.
- You’re a very sweet soul.
- You’re such a dipshit, but I guess you can’t help it.
- Thank you so much.
- Not enough information; the meaning depends on tone of voice.
- What comes around, goes around.
- People almost always get what they deserve.
- You’re fucked.
- Instant karma’s gonna get you.
- I would like to think cosmic retribution is a thing but don’t actually believe it.
- I don’t know what I’d do if I were you.
- I have no good advice.
- You’re so fucked.
- I’m really glad I’m not in your position.
- All of the above.
- Medical research is advancing so quickly!
- Medical research is a great career choice.
- You’re beyond fucked.
- No curative treatment exists, but surely a new option will be available soon.
- B and C
Assessing your results
Don’t like your result? Take this quiz again in five years. It’ll change.
Mostly As: You are an Idealist! (You are impossibly naïve. There are people out there who actually buy this shit? What the hell is the matter with you? Grow up.)
Mostly Bs: You are a Pessimist! (Sincere condolences for whatever it is that’s going on with you right now, pal. Truly.)
Mostly Cs: You are an Optimist! (You appear to be in an absurdly happy place. Good luck sustaining it.)
Mostly Ds: You are a Realist! (Life has kicked you around a bit—and though you are clearly past your prime, you’re approaching wisdom. For the moment, anyway.)