Did you once fall in love with someone that turned out to be the scum of the earth? Perhaps you simply made some very bad choices while drinking heavily when you were a few years younger. Sometimes the decisions that you make have consequences. This has never been truer than when you have a kid with someone that you truly despise.
Raising a kid with your ex is something that you’d likely rather not have to do. Many people take things to the courts in the hopes that a judge will magically make the situation go away. Sadly, you’re going to have to raise your kid with your ex in some capacity in most situations. Many people choose to go the co-parenting route, and this means working closely alongside your ex and staying in communication about things relating to your child.
What should you do when you can’t even stand looking at your ex, though? Do you really have to hold back the urge to lose your lunch every time you look at your exes’ face just for the sake of your kid? Perhaps you don’t. Some people say that parallel parenting is the best way to get through this horrible situation.
What is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is a great idea when you want to try to forget that your ex even exists. It’s super convenient when you’re the type of person who tries to pretend that large chunks of your life didn’t happen. It allows you to keep being a parent without having to constantly be reminded about your mistakes in life. How does this work, though?
Well, parallel parenting is when you raise a kid as if you were a single parent. Sadly, this doesn’t mean that you can just stop having the kid go to see the other parent entirely. Your ex will still have parental rights and will be raising the kid as well. You’ll just be pretending that they aren’t.
For more about parallel parenting, you can check out this article at BetterHelp. It explains more about how it works. If you use this parenting philosophy, then you won’t need to communicate with your ex much at all. You’ll both be raising your child as if you were single parents.
If it helps you to sleep better at night, then you can delete your ex’s number from your phone. Some people even get someone else to drop the kid off at their exes’ homes so that they truly don’t ever have to see them. Out of sight and out of mind. You’ll be sleeping better and feeling happier about life in no time.
It’s Great When You Fight with Your Ex a Lot
People who get into fights with their exes will truly be better off choosing this parenting approach. Your kid shouldn’t have to put up with you getting into it with your ex every single time they have to be dropped off. Some people have a difficult time being mature about breaking up. Surely your ex is completely to blame and you’re not complicit in any way.
Your kid won’t have to see you arguing with each other any longer. The kid will be able to have a relationship with both parents. It’s generally going to be a win-win situation. If you know that your relationship with your ex is nothing but negative, then you don’t have any reason to try to co-parent with them.
Sometimes it’s better to admit that you aren’t capable of remaining professional for the sake of your kid. Being honest and understanding your emotional limitations will make life better for all of you. Bring up the concept of permissive parenting if you think it would be the best thing for your kid. You’ll be able to almost completely eliminate your ex from your life.