Let's see, what's going on in the news today. Oh, did you hear this? It's a sad story. It turns out that Kevin Smith was denied a seat on a Southwestern Airlines plane because he was too fat to sit in a single seat. Kind of gives new meaning to the term, jumbo jet doesn't it?
Oh and what else? Well it looks like the Winter Olympics are here again. That's right, every four years like clockwork. And well we had quite the serious moment when a Georgian Olympic luger died during practice. There was talk of cremating the body but apparently, no one could find a big enough blender.
And US Senator Evan Bayh stepped down from his senate seat today when, apparently, he figured out that he was in fact a US Senator. Quite the shame. Quite the shame.
In Points in Case related news, it turns out that Nathan DeGraaf, the writer who is letting me type away in his space, actually took his girlfriend to Kentucky Fried Chicken on Valentine's Day. Hey, at least he didn't make her order from the kid's menu, am I right?
But seriously, I kid Nathan DeGraaf because his humor is so crass. But after sitting down and having a few conversations with the guy… eh… I've come to the conclusion that he's a big fat jerk. I mean this is the kind of guy who would promise someone a job, give it to him and then take it away not even a year later. And you just can't trust a guy like that.
Okay, let's see… what else do we have going on today? Oh, it turns out that Floyd Landis has been issued an arrest warrant for computer hacking. So let's see, not only did he manage to dope his blood for the Tour de France, he then used his computer skills to cover up and alter the drug tests, according to the French. Wow, the last time an American upset the French this badly had to be… well, I guess take your pick. I mean, they don't really like us over there. You know?
But seriously folks, it's great to be here at Pointsincase.com. You know, I was looking over some of their numbers and was surprised to learn that my Facebook page got more hits in January than did this site. And I didn't even know I had a Facebook page.
No but seriously, I kid I kid. It is nice to be here. I mean what other kind of website can provide you with such valuable information? Before I visited PIC (that's what the kids call it, by the way), I had no idea what kind of music Casey Freeman disliked. Or who he actually was for that matter. Oh, and it turns out, again I didn't know this until I came here, right here to this very website… It turns out that women crap themselves, too. I thought it was just a man thing but you know, you just can't keep that Civil Rights movement down.
Anyway, I just want to thank Mr. DeGraaf for letting me here today to do his observations. I really hope my comedy was up to the strict standards set by… I'm sorry, I just can't keep a straight face through that one.
Now, I'm getting word that both Logic and Fluidity have stepped away from the website for a little bit. Yeah, it turns out they're really busy mocking Court Sullivan's hair, so I've been informed that I should leave you with the following, which Nathan said to his woman on Valentine's Day:
"Honey, we've got the rest of our lives to worry about being broke. Calm down."
Thanks for having me everyone.